Sunday, 30 October 2011

Olympic hopefuls #3 - Nathan Stevens

In the third of my series of fit and cute Olympic hopefuls for team GB, let me introduce you to Nathan Stevens. Nathan is hoping to compete in the Paralympics and at 21 years old he is Junior World gold medallist in all three of his field events: F57 Discus, Javelin and Shot Put. He has now moved away from Shot Put to concentrate on F57 Discus and Javelin.

Friday, 28 October 2011

Friday and the changing world

Thankfully it's Friday and time for a glass or two of wine I think.
I had to travel to a village (nice) near Bracknell (not nice) today to see a client.  The company I visit is small, but the owner is a really nice guy - very loud and funny with it.
I was a little early, so parked up and saw a few people taking their dogs for a walk in the morning mist.  I took this picture as I waited.

Yesterday I was in the Gherkin in London for a team meeting. I had been "volunteered" to present a short session on social media. I attended a fascinating 3 hour seminar on the topic last week and it blew my mind to be honest. The world of marketing is changing rapidly and the way that we will be "sold" to in future is changing too.

I ended my session with this video clip. To say that the information it contains is staggering would be a slight under estimation!  Watch and enjoy - my colleagues loved it.

Thursday, 27 October 2011

Going to pieces

I was playing around on the computer the other day and came up with me going to pieces.  If you like similar images, you can see more at Instagram (app on the iPhone) or a feed such as Inkstagram.

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Top commandments for men #2

Here is the second and final part of the 'commandments for men' - as swiped from GQ.

1.  The slower you move, the faster you die.
2.  Learn to trust your instincts. Only the dead go with the tide. Only the living go against it.
3.  Routine is good. Routine sets you free. Routine gives structure to the unholy messiness of your existence. Never develop a routine that you cant walk away with 5 minutes notice.
4.  Only fat people skip breakfast.
5.  At the end of the day, you should avoid cliches like the plague.
6. Be decent and kind to all people who can't do anything for you.
7. Drugs should be behind you by the time you are 25, unless your day job is playing guitar for the Rolling Stones (lead or rhythm, not bass).
8. The best cure for jet lag is sunshine. The best cure for a hangover is the Black Doctor (coca-cola regular, not diet). The best cure for diarrhea is live yogurt. The best cure for a broken heart is another trip to the moon.
9. If you do not have regular orgasms, you will die. When the coming stops, the breathing is never far behind.

10. Never trust a politician, prostitute or someone who wants you to change your mobile phone, energy plan or true love for absolutely no charge. There is always a charge.
11. Do not become a father until you are willing to put another human being before yourself.
12. Public speaking and practicing safe sex are two skills you need to master. You will be expected to do both, sometimes at the same event.
13. Self-pity is more destructive than heroin.
14. Do not waste your time on jealousy, hatred or watching Wall Street, Money Never Sleeps.
15. Enjoy every sandwich.

Sunday, 23 October 2011

How to wind up your boyfriend

Today Pete and I went into the newly opened Poundland in the local town.  To be honest, there are some amazing bargains in there, which surprised me.  I have always been a bit of a snob about such stores.  I couldn't resist winding Pete up a little in a conversation that went something like...

Me:  How much is that bleach?

Pete: £1

Me:  How much is that iphone cover?

Pete: £1

Me:  How much is that toothpaste?

Pete: (sigh) £1

Me:  How much is that Toblerone?

Pete: (slightly raised voice) £1!

My job was done!

In the next blog posting, I will publish the second part of the 'top commandments for men'.  Watch this space.

Saturday, 22 October 2011

What's that in your shorts?

Fernando, don't tease me like this! Need I say anything more?

Thursday, 20 October 2011

Top commandments for men #1

Further to my previous posting, here are selected entries from the list featured in GQ - some clever, some thoughtful and some witty thoughts.  Copyright Police, come and get me!

1. Money spent on dental work and travel is never wasted. Plan to die with good teeth and great memories.

2. You can skip anal sex and bondage, but you should try a threesome at least once. Expect a large part of it to be someone staring out of a window. Probably you.

3. Never hit a woman, a child, an animal or a man who is incapable of breaking your jaw.

4. Never hit anyone you are not prepared to keep hitting.

5. Good manners are important. There is never an excuse for rudeness. The quality of a life is largely about small human transactions, and politeness makes human existence bearable.

6. You will sometimes fail. There will never be a point in your life when you are too successful, too old or too wise to fail. Expect failure and let it put steel into your soul. Be made strong by your failures and be made grateful by your success. Like night and day, both will surely come to every life.

7. If you and your woman/man have loud arguments, then you are with the wrong woman/man.

8. Learn which bridge to cross and which bridge to burn.

9. Never walk past someone selling The Big Issue without buying a copy. It’s not charity, it’s a job.

10. When possible, get there by walking.

11. If you do not have regular orgasms, you will die. When the coming stops, the breathing is never far behind.

12. Love your work. Try to make your great passion and what you do for a living impossible to tell apart. This will make for a happy life.

13. Strain every fibre of your being to resist hating someone you once loved.

14. Stun them with your talent. Dazzle them with your genius. Never be half-hearted. Never be lukewarm. Attempt to knock every ball out of the park.

15. Happiness will come and go- the important thing is to recognize when it is here.

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Men's mags

I have mentioned this before, but I have a problem with magazines like Esquire, FHM and GQ.  They have a tendency to have many poor articles that you have to sift through to find some good ones.

The biggest issue is when they have fashion and accessories that cost the earth but write as if we all spend hundreds of pounds on socks.  On one page, they show a range of watches that 'every man should own' - the cheapest being £2,500.  The other thing that they do is to include 'fashion' shots with stupidly expensive clothes that would make any man look like a complete twat.  Here is the proof Your Honour... from the latest Esquire:

However, on the way to Nice, WH Smith at the airport had a great deal on magazines - any 3 for £10.  So I bought a photography mag, Mens Health and GQ.  In the copy of GQ was a lot of rubbish, including half of the magazine being adverts.  There was a clever list of 'men commandments', so in the next blog entry, I will choose a few to share with you.

Monday, 17 October 2011

The return

So I am back from holiday and feeling low already!

Before normal blogging resumes, here is a picture that I took on our visit to Italy on Friday (it's a short train ride from Nice). This young guy was serving Pete on a market stall and he had the most amazing eyes!

Friday, 14 October 2011


This week I witnessed three things you wouldn't see in England... all with three participants:

- Three lads aged around 19, one of which was very cute, sitting in a bar after college\Uni chatting and drinking a bottle of Rose. Friends, both male and female, come over and all are greeted by kisses on both cheeks. Very mature and cultured.

- Three cheeky teenage boys on the bus playing the fool and as each leaves at his stop, they all politely shake hands to say goodbye.

- Three middle aged men sat in the bar drinking beer and drawing pictures!  They take it in turns to draw with a black pen on a piece of paper.  The result was a truly abstract image. Once finished, they order another beer and get a fresh piece of paper.

So very different from England. Anyway, here are some images from the past few days including the first one - a tall white guy showing his arse...

Thursday, 13 October 2011


From my oldest brother's Facebook update - a clever use of language...

A linguistics professor was lecturing to her class one day.

"In English," she said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Nice, Grasse, Vance and beyond

Here are a couple of images taken over the past 2 days in the South of France... including some beach totty. There are so many sexy French guys around! :-)

Monday, 10 October 2011

Street photography - Menton & Monaco

Pete and I are in Nice for a few days. We took the bus to Menton yesterday and then another to Monaco.  It was a wonderfully warm day (my head got a bit burned!).  Here are a few 'street photography' style images - i.e. candid shots of people...

Saturday, 8 October 2011

A couple of random images

Here are a couple of photos that I have taken this week that I thought I would share with you.

I was playing around with the camera a couple of days ago and came up with this shot; it's a bit flawed in places but I like it anyway...

And taken on the tube, some clever person has amended an Underground warning sign...

Images copyright Stephen Chapman 2011

Friday, 7 October 2011

Jacob Von Hogflume

Pete came across this image yesterday and I thought it was brilliant.

Jacob Von Hogflume was said to have invented time travel and has been honoured with a blue plaque and was known to have lived in various parts of the UK before his death and after his death as well.

Actually, Jacob Von Hogflume is the fictitious inventor of time traveller, as well as a former and future resident of London. Invented by Dave Askwith and Alex Normanton, and documented in their book "Signs of Life", the Von Hogflume sign proclaimed to mark the residence of the 19th century inventor. This sign was one of many signs created by the duo.

Other made-up signs from their book are below:

Thursday, 6 October 2011

The Tube

Over on Andrew's blog, he occasionally highlights an iconic image.  One of the most iconic is the London Underground logo, which the organisation cherishes and takes legal action all over the world to stop any abuse.  The roundel was designed in 1908 and the simple shape, colour and font are instantly recognisable.
If you want to buy the real thing, made by fusing glass particles to sheet metal, the London Transport Museum can arrange it for you... for a price!
The metre squared option (i.e. those used on the platforms) is a snip at £895.  A slightly smaller version at a bargain £795.
Due to the price, we will stick with our own much smaller version that is on our bathroom door...

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Five on the fifth #28

Welcome to '5 on the fifth', a posting where you share 5 photographs taken on the days leading up to the 5th of the month. Remember to mention my blog on your own blog, so that your visitors can find the other contributions. You can take 5 random pictures or follow my suggested theme: PLEASURE.

You no longer have to leave a comment with your details (though comments are welcome) - just complete the form below including your name and location in the 'link title' field and like magic, you will appear in the list of contributors.

My images are below:

A place that gives me a lot of pleasure is a mile or so from my Parents house in Kent.  It's a Neolithic burial site called Coldrum, that sits just below the North Downs and it's a strange place to visit. There is something "different" about it that I have never been able to put my finger on - it has a presence about it. Along the route to it are a few seemingly random stones (about 3 foot across) just laying on the ground - these are clearly marker stones put in place 4000 years ago to link other burial places, including a long barrow in the village my parent live. I took these pictures on Sunday during a heat wave in England...

Monday, 3 October 2011

Poor service

Customer service data over many years tells us that when we receive good service from a business, we tell 5 people on average. When we receive bad service, we tell 9 people.

So here I am telling my 9 readers about Tesco Mobile.  :-)

Pete has had a contract for a little under a year but around 2 months ago, his mobile phone stopped working.  Basically, people could barely hear him though he could hear them.

After sending the phone back THREE times and it being returned without being fixed, they now want him to send it back again.  He has refused and demanded a replacement... which they will not do.  Now I believe that they are breaking several consumer laws, but who do you complain to? The call centre staff are simply defensive and are unwilling to help.

The staff have cared little all through the process and one even refused to pass him to a manager when asked.  He has now cancelled his plan and will be going elsewhere.

As we know, Tesco is huge and is trying to take over the world.  I am sure that they couldn't give a damn about one small mobile contract.  However, I will avoid their shops and petrol stations for a while to dent their profits by a few pence!

Saturday, 1 October 2011

30 second movie #5

A silly video filmed last Saturday featuring Pete and Sonny discussing a waste of food - I used an iPhone app to make the recording look like a Super 8 film from yesteryear...

5 for October

Here we are again just a few days away from the next '5 on the fifth'. Take 5 photographs on the days leading up to the 5th and publish those on your own blog and then add the link to my blog so that others can find your images. 

You can either take 5 random pictures or follow this months theme: