Yes please

As seen on Saturday in Cambridge...
  

Top 10 Edinburgh Fringe jokes 2012

1) "You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks." – Stewart Francis

2) "Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly." – Tim Vine

3) "I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister." – Will Marsh

4) "You know you're working class when your TV is bigger than your book case." – Rob Beckett

5) "I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet … I don't know Y." – Chris Turner

6) "I took part in the sun tanning Olympics - I just got Bronze." – Tim Vine

7) "Pornography is often frowned upon, but that's only because I'm concentrating." – George Ryegold

8) "I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!" – Stewart Francis

9) "I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: It's not rocket salad." – Lou Sanders

10) "My mum's so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism … she wouldn't fancy her chances." – Nish Kumar

Handjob techniques

Gay porn stars?

Please don't confuse the official Russian Olympic uniform with a troop of gay porn stars. It's so easily done.
 

The Kinsey scale

A quick test for you...

We did this test last week in Edinburgh.  I will say nothing more than, please watch the video: 
   

Mummy... Can you tell me

A client told me this great true story the other day...

His 2 year old son asked his wife, "Mummy, why do dogs bark?"

She replied "I don't know Jimmy*"

He thought about that reply for a few seconds and then said...

"Google it then!"


*made up name

Your help is required

Answers on a postcard please

I was stuck in a jam on the M25 yesterday morning (in fact, every time I have been on the M25 this year). I was parked next to this truck and someone had written in the dirt on the rear doors.

Does anyone know what it means?!  It made me smile anyway.

Ha, Ha, Shock, Wow #9

Following on from these previous postings, here are four more random items from the 'net for your pleasure and entertainment...

HA

HA

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same.
The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

SHOCK

On April 6, 1925, the first in-flight movie was shown.
It was a silent film and appeared on a Deutsche Lufthansa flight
 

WOW

I am preparing a whole blog posting on this guy - but here's a teaser.
I think he is one of the most beautiful guys I have seen!

The Australian approach

They don't much about with stupid sales tactics in Australia.  They get straight to the point...

Yoinked from Twitter #1 - #childrensbooksmademoreexciting

Children's books made more exciting...
 

Bi-Curious George

 

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Bone

 

Paddington Bare

 

Little Red Riding Ho

 

The Bi-Polar Express

 

Charlie Sheen and the Chocolate Factory

 

The Cat In The Hood

 

Peter Porn

 

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Taliban

 

Charlotte's Webcam

 

Jacob Von Hogflume

Pete came across this image yesterday and I thought it was brilliant.

Jacob Von Hogflume was said to have invented time travel and has been honoured with a blue plaque and was known to have lived in various parts of the UK before his death and after his death as well.

Actually, Jacob Von Hogflume is the fictitious inventor of time traveller, as well as a former and future resident of London. Invented by Dave Askwith and Alex Normanton, and documented in their book "Signs of Life", the Von Hogflume sign proclaimed to mark the residence of the 19th century inventor. This sign was one of many signs created by the duo.

Other made-up signs from their book are below:

Henge

Some clever person has taken typical Ikea instructions and moved them back in time 3500 years...

The diary of Zac

Zac Efron has featured on this blog a few times - he's one sexy guy!  Here is an hilarious parody I caught on YouTube:

Funny

I saw this in a magazine and it raised a laugh, so I thought I would share it with you...

Read the signs

Here are a few silly pictures of road signs around the world... just for your amusement:

True blood?

This is how I spent my lunchtime - working at home.  The truth is that vampires are everywhere...

The season ticket

I heard this story from a taxi driver...

The taxi driver and his son have season tickets at Chelsea.  Last season, they had great seats but were confused that the 2 seats next to them were empty every game.  This was very strange, considering the demand for seats at Stamford Bridge and the fact that it costs a great deal of money to buy the tickets.

This went on for game after game, with the taxi driver and son, surmising what had happened to the people.  But on Boxing Day, 2 people turned up and took their places to watch the match.

At half time, the taxi driver's inquisitive nature got the better of him and he asked the people why they had missed almost have of the season.  The man replied... "My stupid wife spent over £2000 buying these season tickets in the summer and decided to give them to us as Christmas presents!"

Classic!

Toy Story

Andy grows up...

(you may have to study the picture a little!)