A letter to my 16 year old self

I saw a book on Saturday called Dear Me: A Letter to My Sixteen-Year-Old Self and was impressed by some of the entries by famous people.

So here is a letter from me to me - although I reserve the right to alter it as inspiration strikes. I hope that you are interested enough to do the same on your own blog if you have one.

It's actually quite difficult to find the right way to approach it - do you write as if your 16 year old self can make changes, make a list of instructions for life or are you just preparing yourself for a journey that has already happened? I chose a combination of all three, as the first option alone would simply mean I'd list a load of regrets:


Dear Stephen

Let me start by saying that your overall lack of self confidence and shyness is all in your head and you will grow out of it - maybe not fully, but it wont set you back. You have been, and will always be a late bloomer - it takes a while to figure things out and action them. Don't stress about it, just recognise that it takes you a little longer to get somewhere.

You have attractive black hair and it may be worth making the most of it while you can.

You have a talent with art and music, you must not let them waste away completely. Although you may not make a career from these skills, you will use them and enjoy them at every opportunity. New music will come into your life over the next few years that will increase your appreciation and enjoyment even further - always allow yourself to be open to new music and culture. You will soon pick up a guitar and you'll love it - make sure you practice hard.

OK, now the biggie... you are gay and there is no denying it. You will have a couple more girlfriends, but those fumbles you enjoyed so much with schoolmates are the way forward. As I have already mentioned, as a late bloomer, "coming out" will take a while to plan and execute and it's going to be scary as hell, but well worth the sleepless nights leading up to the event. Nearly everyone will know you are gay by the time you do it anyway, so it will be an amazing anti-climax.

Get that tattoo you want. It will hurt like hell, but it will look cool forever.
The friends you had at school will fade away and you will make wonderful new friendships that will undoubtedly last a lifetime. You will find love, but you will have to be patient as getting your head around being gay will take a year or two yet.

A new type of TV programme is coming - avoid it or you will get sucked in. It's called "reality TV".

As for family, make an effort to get to know your brothers and father. As you'll never have children, your niece and nephews will be a perfect surrogate. Your grandparents, as you know, are some of the warmest people you will ever meet - take the time to get to know them well as they have some amazing experiences and stories to share before it's too late.
Crystal Palace will not win the FA Cup and they will stress you out for years to come.

Your career (for want of a better word) will have a strange path and you are unlikely to ever figure out "what you want to be when you grow up". You naturally find the line of least resistance, so you must push yourself to learn more and more. This will mean studying and more exams I'm afraid. Never stay in a job that you hate.

And to end, my advice for you would be to take more risks as you play it too safe, too often. Oh... and wear sunscreen.

Stephen