Please explain to me...#1

...why is Cheryl Cole famous?
  

I see her as a slightly dim, quite good looking woman that happened to be in the right place at the right time.  She has no obvious skills, yet is looked up to by millions of women and girls.
  
She cant sing (it's auto-tune overdrive on her songs), her accent is annoying, her presenting skills are weak and yet she earns a fortune on lowbrow television programmes and advertising.  She sits on the panel of television programmes that exploit individuals and she gives her views on their talent, yet she has none herself. Doesn't seem right to me.
  
The strange thing is, she doesn't have that "look" that some other celebs' have - the look that says "I know I'm a fraud and it's just a matter of time before you figure it out".  People like Kerry Katona have that look and it's one of fear.
  
Can anyone explain to me why Cheryl Cole is famous?

The miracle of the net... again

Pete and I went to lunch at the top local restaurant yesterday.  It was Pete's brother's girlfriends birthday.  The almost-four-hour meal was fantastic.

During the meal, Pete's brother mentioned that they had spent the day in London on Saturday. During a loooong trip to Harrods, they saw someone famous.  People were asking for autographs and taking photographs with them.

The problem was, neither Pete's brother nor his girlfriend recognised the man!

So they just said he had dark skin and good looking wife/girlfriend.  Not a lot to go on.  So I went on Twitter and and typed in a few searches:

- seen in Harrods
- saw in Harrods
- with wife in Harrods

After a couple of minutes and wading through spottings of an Indian film star and someone from a girl group, I found it was probably Dutch International footballer John Heitinga and his wife.

Finding a picture on Google confirmed it.  Isn't the 'net amazing?!?
 

Eeeeek

In 2009 I posted about celebrities wrecking their looks with plastic surgery.  We have a new lead in the "league of mindless operations"... Colonel Gaddafi.  You know him; the non-democratic leader formally known as a terrorist.  I still cant quite believe that the west is giving him any respect given his past evil deeds. Anyway, enjoy this freaky image.

Dont forget - the next '5 on the fifth' is only a few days away... details HERE and you can join the 5 on the fifth Facebook page HERE.  Tell your friends!

Who lives in a body like this?

I saw the full picture of this famous guy and was pleasantly pleased. Just look at this near perfect body... just the right amount of muscle, a little fuzz of hair, beautifully formed and free of fat.  And we all know that fat-free things are good for you.

Guesses as to the identity on a postcard please.

Unanswered questions

Yesterday was not the best of days. Pete was placed "at risk of redundancy" by his short-term thinking employer and I received a speeding ticket. OK, Pete's bad news was worse than my self inflicted annoyance, but it does also feel like the shin splints are also back as I can hardly walk today!

I was in Edinburgh for a day this week and seeing the "head office engine" made me appreciate that I can do so much more within the company than I am currently doing. I need to talk to my boss I think, but need to be careful how I word it. The Scots moan about the weather (as we all do), but it always seems to be sunny when I am in Edinburgh.

Last night, I made a great pizza - including making the dough which wouldn't stop rising! It was enjoyed last night along with a bottle of red wine. We were watching the Simpsons and Marge is talking to Homer over a shortwave radio saying "hello... hello... is there anybody in there?" - which is the start of Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb" which I now cant get out of my head.

One last food comment... I am going to attempt making my first cheesecake today. Wish me luck.

Some unanswered questions on a dull Saturday morning:

Was the Daily Mail article about Stephen Gately homophobic, usual misinformed Daily Mail rubbish or just plain evil? More here
[Bloggers comment: the article, which I have read, seems to imply that only gay guys drink, smoke some drugs and have a 3some. Now, I am sure that the straights out there may have done 1 or 2 of those things!]

Was the balloon boy event a publicity stunt? It was strange, but when I saw the the little boy, he immediately reminded me of myself when I was his age - not that I ever hitched a ride on my Dad's balloon.

Why does every new Bon Jovi song sound like "Bon Jovi by numbers"? Is it just a loss of talent or just very lazy songwriting?

Something that has puzzled me for a while... what sort of person is interested in Z list celebs like Jade, Jordan and Kerry? Who buys the magazines and the books? I don't understand it at all.

Why do I have to wait until late December for my new car?!

Mutilation

Barry Manilow was on TV the other day being interviewed about a concert in Hyde Park. You know Barry... the New York singer-songwriter who is relying on performing his old hits for immortality. Well, it was shocking to see him - he now looks like a puppet or some kind of circus freak following a great deal of surgery.

Was he expecting the facelift and implants to improve his looks?! Was he hoping that no-one would notice that he now looks weird?!

I know it's not just an American thing, but it seems that many celeb's in the USA see surgery as the answer to aging. Growing old is natural, mutilation by surgery is not. One of my favourite singers is Stevie Nicks who is now 60 years old and has had no facial surgery at all. She looks great and obviously looks after herself (after years of drugs abuse that is). Why not grow old gracefully like her? That a sign of self confidence and she is being honest to herself and all of those around her.

Take a look at the picture of Priscella Presley. She was once a beautiful woman, but is now puffed up and looks like a victim of a car crash. It seems that something went wrong in the surgery as she now talks out of one side of her mouth!

Following a major skin stretch, Kenny Rogers looks like a Kenny Rogers impersinator but I doubt he would win first prize in a Kenny lookalike contest! The tightness on the forehead looks painful to me. Mickey Rourke used to look cool, but now looks a bit sad.

I would only ever consider a "procedure" for something minor that needed to be done and would never ever consider the overhaul that some people have had. And to be honest, not one of them looks better than before. Even Cher looks a bit strange these days.

Why would you do this to yourself? Especially knowing the results will never look natural and you will probably have bloggers picking on you for ****ing up a perfectly good face! The twisted and failed looks of Michael Jaskson were a lesson for us all that surgery doesn't work.

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Stephen Gately RIP

I have just heard the very sad news that Stephen Gately has died suddenly while of holiday aged 33. He was a singer in an Irish boyband called Boyzone that had success in the 1990's.

Boyzone wasn't really my musically taste, but he was certainly an inspiration to many young gay men and someone I respected. Pete and I even saw him on stage in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

I always thought he was the cute one in Boyzone and when he announced that he was gay, I was surprised and secretly pleased. Despite all of the potential problems that coming out could have caused to his career, he was brave and defied the press that was going to "out" him.

Indirectly, his actions inspired me to sort my own life out and tell my friends and family that I was gay. And from what I have read, he helped many other young gay guys to do the same. When you need to make a big decision such as coming out, role models can be important. The strange thing for me and many others that had no real connection with his music, was that we understood what he had gone through and appreciated what he had done had taken great courage.

Thirty-three years old is far too young an age to die and it's a lesson to all of us who procrastinate, to get out there and enjoy life while we can.

Things I have learned this week

House values on the Dubai 'palm' islands have fallen 40% in 6 months.

Also in Dubai, over 3000 cars have been found dumped at the airport by fleeing foreigners who are in debt and missing loan payments (that's illegal in Dubai).

You generally don't leave a tip in a bar or restaurant in Holland.

Sunday night is a great time to burgle TV and radio personality Gloria Hunniford - as mentioned in a Sunday magazine, she is either at the cinema or in the treehouse drinking gin.

I agree with actor Jason Isaacs who complained about toilet attendants in posh London restaurants and bars - we don't need any help and can manage without you!

I hate the celebrity culture in the UK. It features sad people who make money just because they are famous. The UK has far too many of these irrelevant idiots and I just don't understand why the public are interested in them. I particularly dislike Jordan and Peter who are regularly in the trashy magazines and on TV. Why and how are they famous?! Who reads and watches this shite?! They have announced that they are getting divorced. I give it one month of "exclusive" stories in the stupid-people-magazines before the 2 give marriage another go... complete with further exclusive coverage in the dimwit press. The UK sub class that look up to these slebs' is so very gullible. And to prove how much I dislike the male half of the publicity machine, I wont even include a picture of his long gone six-pack!

The 3 F's... Famous Facebook Friend

I am back from a couple of days in Edinburgh with work. It was a two day team meeting - The first day was quite productive, but the second dragged. I can't seem to sleep in hotels these days despite it being a very nice place, so I was exhausted by the time I got home. Not much to report, apart from this picture from the Easyjet flight on the way up: it's looking down on the Lake District - you can just about see the cloud in the valleys, below the hilltops covered in snow.

Back to the reason for this post... I've been trying to find a famous friend for Facebook for a while. Those that advertise to become your friend don't count (Mark Kermode from Radio 5 for example) - I want a famous friend because they want to be linked to me!

I emailed a couple of actors (including minor actors who nobody but me seems to know) and singers - in the hope that the entries were actually real, but I had no success. Maybe my approach is all wrong; I have been honest and said "I want a famous friend". Does that sound more like a stalker than someone worth knowing?!

Has anyone got a famous friend on Facebook (that you are sure is 100% genuine)?

Anyway... here's hoping for a new friend soon and here is my Facebook profile for reference... just in case you are famous!

The Payne I feel

Dear Mythical Agony Aunt,

I have known this for a while, but the man who I thought loves me has his eyes on someone else. It's actually been going on for a couple of years and he doesn't even try and hide it!

The one who has stolen his heart is a TV news presenter on Sky Sports News. His name is Alex Payne.

Oh what can I do!? Your advice would be welcome.

Stephen

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OK, I jest - but this TV guy (yes, he does look 17, but is in his 20’s) is a near obsession in our house for my significant other. It's not as if sport was a major interest for him until Alex came along! When Alex is on the screen, no-one else matters. I may as well not exist!

Alex is very well spoken (a good education perhaps?) and appears to be a very confident person. I'm a bit surprised he's still reading the sports news and not fronting some programme.

And to top it all, he even has his own facebook fan group!

Some light gay relief

Although I have never seen High School Musical and never will, but I thought some of the stories about Zac Efron (see previous blog entry) have been quite witty - one headline in particular made me laugh:

Gay Men And 13-Year-Old Girls Unite In Protest Against Cut Zac Efron Shower Scene

A scene was cut from the film which sees Zac practising some moves. Dance moves I assume. For some reason, the producers felt that the scenes were a little too much for a teen film. One reviewer thought that the scene alone could change the rating! After seeing some of the pics, all I can say is.... Shame!


Back to more serious matters for the next blog entry.

Diamonds are what?!

You know what really grinds my gears? That awful TV advert from Armani in which Beyonce sings...

"Diamonds are a girls best feeerwwwwend"

No Beyonce, it's pronounced friend. There is no W in the word and you don't need the 'Fer' part at the beginning, 'Fre' will suffice.... friend!

It always reminds me of Only Fools And Horses when the cabaret singer is singing the Roy Orbison song Crying. Hilarious!

p.s. I wonder how many little Beyonces there are living in Essex council estates?

Insults towards the gay community?... or when a comment became a post

I was having a look at a few blogs and noticed a blog entry about a recent TV show in Australia where veteran US entertainer Jerry Lewis recently used the word "fag" as a descriptive word to show what he thought of cricket. He obviously doesn't like the game we English choose to lose at so often because, after making the remark, he mimed swinging a cricket bat effeminately. The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation and the Australian Coalition for Equality have called for an apology - which I think is a little strong. However, the blogger couldn't quite understand why anyone should be offended. So I posted this comment:

I thought it was obvious why people have complained - he used the word "fag" as a descriptive insult towards cricket, as if "fag" was a suitable word to describe something that he saw as garbage, stupid and worthless.

Therefore, is it OK to use the word "fag" in this way and does it not then suggest that gay people are garbage, stupid and worthless? Or that is it that cricket, in his opinion, is only worthy for a "lower class" of people?

In the UK, a lot of young (possibly) straight guys say something is "gay" when it's not to their liking. It's immature and winds me up. One day soon, someone will lose their job from using language like that at their place of work.

However, saying all this, it's been blown out of proportion by the press (as they like to do) - he's an 82 year old man who comes from an age when being gay was something to hide. So, I don't really blame him.
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I am a pretty laid back person and I would like to think that Jerry Lewis was merely trying to get a laugh and misjudged his words. Though from the number of entries on the web about him putting his foot in his mouth, I'm not so sure! The word "fag" does have negative and insulting overtones in my opinion, so should not be used so freely.

Your comments are welcome...

Big gay blog - The ugly ducklings

It's about time I posted another gay blog entry (i.e. an excuse to include some pictures of cute guys) so here's my take on the ugly duckling story. Take a couple of nerds and see how they have grown in such a short time...

Leon Jackson won the UK X-Factor Karaoke competition in 2007 and what a dorky looking guy he was back then!

The X Factor is a programme that I don't watch and I think it's made to appeal to people who don't have brains.

Anyway, his winning song and number 1 hit was an awful piece of dross called When you believe which failed to use his voice well at all. A year later and, to my great surprise, has a great new song and even better new image!

Another TV programme I have never seen is High School Musical starring Zac Efron. 21 year old Zac has also developed well and I think could be a big star if he plays some more mature roles. He's a bit old to be playing a schoolkid now and should show us he can actually act.

He also looks rather good here.

So when and how did these two guys become rather nice?! There could be stylists at work I think.

Who the hell is...? - #2 The WAG

What do these footballers have in common?

1. They are all very ugly
2. They are all extrememly wealthy
3. They all have stunningly good looking wives

You can decide whether there is a link between facts 2 and 3 yourself. But to help you out a little, and by paraphrasing Mrs Merton. "So, what first attracted you to the pig ugly multi-millionaire footballer?"

The WAGs* just swan around like they have talent. Some even make money from it! How?! Why?! Who really thinks that these airheads have any talent? Some surveys have shown that young girls actually aspire to be like them! They are "famous" because they happen to have snagged an overpaid spoilt footballer. Celebrity culture annoys me! I am sure some are nice people...but.

Some of these women have been treated badly by their men (not all of them of course), but would you stay with a guy who slept with other women? Would you put up with someone who visited a whore when you were going out? Could you wake up in the morning to any of those faces staring back at you?!

And the point of this blog entry? Well, no great insights from me, it's mainly to show that I dont have much nice to say about the WAGs - nice people or not, it's a celebrity thing. But, this entry does give me the opportunity to post a picture of Mr Perfect to show how ugly those guys really are: Fernando Torres - what a shame he plays for Liverpool.

* wives and girlfriends

Jonas Brothers

So how long will it be before one of the Jonas Brothers (those Disney endorsed, Christian virgins who love everybody on the planet), becomes involved in some drug crazed, sex fueled breakdown?

Cynical... me?! Don't tell me that these lads aren't just being packaged by The Man to sell their rather bland, overly produced pop to young girls. I somehow don't see them being a success in the UK - their "message" is not one that their UK target market is used to hearing and will be seen through. Male teenagers, even American ones, can't be THIS clean cut!

Who the hell is...? - #1 Jonathan Wilkes

I caught a little of the charity football on TV this weekend (a worthy cause) and playing as a "celeb" was this guy. His name is Jonathan Wilkes and he scored the winning goal.

What confused me was, who the hell is he!?? and why does he seem to get in camera shot during every interview acting like he is an A-lister with talent???

OK, I admit that I do know that he is a friend of Robbie Williams, but he just winds me up with that over-the-top showing off. That "look at me because I am great" manner doesn't seem to tally with his achievements. Wikipedia never lies.... on the face of it, he's a failed pop star and failed TV presenter that now appears on the stage and the odd reality TV programme.

Now don't get me wrong - in private he might be a really nice guy, albeit a bit geeky looking. But... on camera, I think he's just one of those Z-List people who will just annoy me - mainly due to the supercilious attitude and that he seems to really believe that his is special (and expects everyone to agree). There are far too many of this kind of celeb on TV and perhaps we need to return to the good old days... when our celebs had some talent and were modest enough not to act like Americans with the obligatory whooping and shouting.