These are the top ten jokes from this years Edinburgh festival - as picked by a panel of judges. Some a just brilliant one liners...
1) Dan Antopolski - "Hedgehogs - why can't they just share the hedge?"
2) Paddy Lennox - "I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting'."
3) Sarah Millican - "I had my boobs measured and bought a new bra. Now I call them Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes because they're up where they belong."
4) Zoe Lyons - "I went on a girls' night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill'. I went as Rose West."
5) Jack Whitehall - "I'm sure wherever my dad is; he's looking down on us. He's not dead, just very condescending."
6) Adam Hills - "Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you're going to get it, but it's going to be rough."
7) Marcus Brigstocke - "To the people who've got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn't invent it!"
8) Rhod Gilbert - "A spa hotel? It's like a normal hotel, only in reception there's a picture of a pebble."
9) Dan Antopolski - "I've been reading the news about there being a civil war in Madagascar. Well, I've seen it six times and there isn't."
10) Simon Brodkin - "I started so many fights at my school - I had that attention-deficit disorder. So I didn't finish a lot of them."
_____________________________
- New to this blog? Take a look here
- Be part of 5 on the fifth each month by sharing your pictures - see past entries here
Why does anyone still drink Coffee from Starbucks? I mean even I still forget sometimes and go and buy a three pound cup of steamed milk with absolutely no coffee flavour, and a dry crossaint, and all I get for my troubles is to sit there and stare at the hot boys who frequent the place and...oh wait. Still doesn't explain what the hot boys see in the place though?
ReplyDeleteLove number 2!
ReplyDelete