Sunday, 14 December 2008

The gay questionnaire

Name: Stephen
Country: United Kingdom
Age: 38
How old were you when you first realised you were gay? I think I've always known I was gay and really fancied a couple of guys my age on TV (and at school) when I was about 12. That was a defining moment for me.
Do you have more gay friends or straight friends? Straight I suppose. I don't tend to categorise people and would question why anyone would.
Biggest turn on? Porn!
Biggest turn off? Fat people
Ever been harassed due to your orientation? No, but I may have been lucky so far.
Have you ever been surprised at the reaction of people who know you are gay? Yes - a couple of guys I used to work with had no issues at all and I thought they might have. In fact, they were very supportive.
What is the worst gay stereotype? Camp guys who think they are being original. I think much of it could be an act.
Are you a stereotype? No I am not. I don't tick many gay boxes at all.
Ever been to a pride rally? No, but might go one day.
Do you go to gay bars? Rarely - in fact, I can't remember the last time. I don't see why I would want to limit my choice to gay only bars.
How old were you when you first told someone you were gay? About 20 - but wish I done it earlier.
Did you plan it? If so, how? I was drunk and it just sort of happened. I said "I like guys"
What made you choose that person to tell? I trusted him and NEEDED to tell someone.
How did you feel? Felt like a weight lifted off my shoulder.
Have you ever been snubbed by someone after coming out to them? Yes. An ex-work colleague was very uncomfortable and avoided me from that moment. Sad ****er.

Have you come out to your family? Yes - but way too late. They couldn't have cared less - much to my surprise!
Why did you come out at that point? I had had enough of telling lies and it was getting me down. Also, 2 guys I knew had just come out and their experience helped.
Are you out at work? Not my current place of work, but have been in previous jobs.
If not, why not? I am not that close to my colleagues and
there's not really been a suitable moment to talk about it. I really don't care one way or the other though.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? It's happened, but I didn't mind - it can be useful actually.
What does being out mean to you? Not having to lie about pretty much everything.

What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? Do it as young as you can.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? I would have come out
about age 17/18 and this would have made me far more confident, I have no doubt.

If you want to answer some of these questions yourself or ask me any new questions, feel free to post a comment.

And some humour to end...


  1. Thanks for your comment. I have read your blog for a while now.

    We were in your neck of the woods this afternoon.

    Like your questionnare. I did something similar ages ago on my About Me page.

  2. Can't mail you - so risking going off topic and telling you that I love some of the images on your web album. I grew up in London, though live on the other side of the world now - and it was nice to see some familiar images, from a very interesting perspective.

  3. that is some good advice. to come out when you are young. i am so insecure and i do feel like i have to lie being in the closet. i wish circumstances were different. like if my parents and community wasn't so traditional and judgmental, maybe i would. but my family would lose face if i ever did.

    but i know if i did, i would be SO MUCH MORE HAPPIER AND CONFIDENT. and i'd be myself, which i already am, minus the gay part. it saddens me really.

  4. I loved the question, I'm going to pop something up on my page sometime soon. Loved that vid as well, I'm going to steal it and put it on mine as well as it's a good bit of fun.

    Oh and thanks for the comment, all the best, J

  5. Do you go to gay bars? Rarely - in fact, I can't remember the last time. I don't see why I would want to limit my choice to gay only bars.

    It doesn't say anything about limiting yourself, it just says do you go.

  6. In response to Anonymous, my original answer was longer but I edited the whole blog entry down.

    My comment about going to gay bars originally said something like "I know some guys who only go to gay bars and I dont quite understand why".... then I had my point about limiting my choice.

    Sorry if my editing confused readers

  7. Thanks for visiting my blog.

    I visited Rome, Naples, Florence, Venice, Milan, and Tuscany.

    It was a great trip and I am saving to go back next summer. This time I hope to spend the entire summer, but we will see if I will have enough money saved up.


  8. Sorry to randomly comment on an old post, but as I was reading through your answers were scarily similar to what mine would have been! Only my dad made a bit more of a big deal out of it, cos he was saying "It's really important for me that you know that I'm comfortable with this" and I was just laughing at him, cos I always knew he'd be fine with it. I like your blog and it has been added to my reading list :)

  9. Sorry, this post has been a while now, but still want to say that. Those answers are very good for gay men hehe...