In a recent email, my old pal Marco said that Pete and I live "am Arsch der Welt". He is suggesting that we live "out in the sticks" (if he and his lovely wife visited, he would think differently). Anyway... forgive him, he's German and witty, which is a dangerous combination.
He does have a point and it's linked to something that has been bothering me today. I have just realised why I don't like Twitter... I don't do enough interesting things in a day to tell people about. How depressing is that?! When I did my "photo a day" project, we were living in London and it was easy to do new things everyday. I am now officially lazy and not "growing as an individual" as the Americans might say. A lot of this stems from having a dull job.
Tonight I prepared the final installment of my "top 100 list" to be posted soon and #100 mentions being envious of the young and being afraid of getting old. It's true, but such thoughts are not at a dangerous level just yet. It's more than simple jealousy, it's all about regret. Regret that I haven't achieved enough and the worry that I never will (some would say I have achieved plenty, whereas I judge it differently as my glass isn't even a third full at the moment*). Even worse therefore is this combination of young people who have achieved. Take the actor we saw in a play last weekend, Steven Webb. He's not a big stage star, but he has confidence, making use of his talent, good looks, hair(!) and he's 25 years old. Is this the start of my midlife crisis?
Thinking and typing at the same time here, but do I need a major, if not MASSIVE new challenge in my life? Maybe I should try acting to challenge myself in a big way or even try and write a play... a radio play possibly. I could have a completely new career, start at the bottom again. I could try a new hobby or skill at nightschool. I've never played my guitar to a crowd - so maybe I should try busking. I know I can sing, but I couldn't perform to people, so anyone want to sing while I play? One thing that I am doing is running a 10k race in April - this may not sound too impressive, but consider that it will be the furthest I have even run as I have never been fit.
Something that bugs me about me, is that I make lists of things to do in life and rarely tick the items off. I will probably start making lists of lists soon. I know that without Pete to kick me, I doubt I would do that much. Thank heavens for nagging. I will post some objectives and you can all moan at me when I haven't ticked some off.
So where has this blog entry taken me (and you)? Well, it's littered with question marks so your views are welcome. Perhaps it's given a tiny insight into my mind at this moment in time? Perhaps a thought on your own life? I could type for hours, but wont - I will save such blog boredom for another day.
And as for things I have been putting off - this weekend, I intend getting very drunk on sloe gin with our neighbours who we never socialise with despite them being a great couple (though they are in their twenties, so I am just envious of course). Watch this space.
* My relationship with Pete is an achievement of course, I am thinking more about work and skills.