Wednesday, 9 December 2009

Random thoughts on life - challenges

In a recent email, my old pal Marco said that Pete and I live "am Arsch der Welt". He is suggesting that we live "out in the sticks" (if he and his lovely wife visited, he would think differently). Anyway... forgive him, he's German and witty, which is a dangerous combination.

He does have a point and it's linked to something that has been bothering me today. I have just realised why I don't like Twitter... I don't do enough interesting things in a day to tell people about. How depressing is that?! When I did my "photo a day" project, we were living in London and it was easy to do new things everyday. I am now officially lazy and not "growing as an individual" as the Americans might say. A lot of this stems from having a dull job.

Tonight I prepared the final installment of my "top 100 list" to be posted soon and #100 mentions being envious of the young and being afraid of getting old. It's true, but such thoughts are not at a dangerous level just yet. It's more than simple jealousy, it's all about regret. Regret that I haven't achieved enough and the worry that I never will (some would say I have achieved plenty, whereas I judge it differently as my glass isn't even a third full at the moment*). Even worse therefore is this combination of young people who have achieved. Take the actor we saw in a play last weekend, Steven Webb. He's not a big stage star, but he has confidence, making use of his talent, good looks, hair(!) and he's 25 years old. Is this the start of my midlife crisis?

Thinking and typing at the same time here, but do I need a major, if not MASSIVE new challenge in my life? Maybe I should try acting to challenge myself in a big way or even try and write a play... a radio play possibly. I could have a completely new career, start at the bottom again. I could try a new hobby or skill at nightschool. I've never played my guitar to a crowd - so maybe I should try busking. I know I can sing, but I couldn't perform to people, so anyone want to sing while I play? One thing that I am doing is running a 10k race in April - this may not sound too impressive, but consider that it will be the furthest I have even run as I have never been fit.

Something that bugs me about me, is that I make lists of things to do in life and rarely tick the items off. I will probably start making lists of lists soon. I know that without Pete to kick me, I doubt I would do that much. Thank heavens for nagging. I will post some objectives and you can all moan at me when I haven't ticked some off.

So where has this blog entry taken me (and you)? Well, it's littered with question marks so your views are welcome. Perhaps it's given a tiny insight into my mind at this moment in time? Perhaps a thought on your own life? I could type for hours, but wont - I will save such blog boredom for another day.

And as for things I have been putting off - this weekend, I intend getting very drunk on sloe gin with our neighbours who we never socialise with despite them being a great couple (though they are in their twenties, so I am just envious of course). Watch this space.

* My relationship with Pete is an achievement of course, I am thinking more about work and skills.


  1. the hair comment made me smile, I was just looking at photos today of the hair I once had...Ive been going through allot of simular thoughts as of late, maybe it is just the time of year....anyway thanx for sharing, its got me thinking...

  2. Umm...neighbors in their 20s......yummy. As for the needing a massive new project in your life, I get it completely. I think we're all fearful of something -- and growing old has got to be on the top of many people's list. Mine is the gym. I went four times a week forever. And now? Nada. Nothing. Nope. Why is that? I need to go. I should go. But I don't.

  3. Maybe it is the winter blues kicking in after weeks of rain and clouds. I do count my blessings, dont get me wrong, but I just need to enhance life a bit.

  4. I can entirely sympathise with much of your sentiment... but you do cram a lot more in than I do! If I wrote my blog about what I did - in the way you often do - it would rapidly become repetative and mind-numbingly boring.

    For me, such feelings are most prevalent around my birthday in November and linger through to New Year - the general feeling being one of lack of progress/achievment over the course of the year.

    This year I have made some changes, though, and hopefully real progress can happen next year!

    Back to you, though: You're a creative person, so I know you could easily do (any one of) 101 things to enhance your life. Perhaps you need to make us a New Year's resolution and provide us with regular updates!


  5. Cheers Andrew. You are making the dangerous assumption that I dont just make all this stuff up!


  6. My goodness, if I would've known that me giving you grief for moving out to the boonies (I know that you like this expression :-)) would throw you straight into a hefty combo of winter depression and midlife crisis, then...
    Anyhoo, just focus on the lovely little book that I sent to you and come visit the big city every now and then.
    On a more serious note, get another job if you think the current one is dull. Preferably one outside of financial services, because it seems most jobs are dull in that field.

  7. Hi Stephen, I know what you mean. I seem to visit this thought topic almost weekly of late. I think it is just a sign of getting older.

    I did make a massive life change about 5 years ago, gave up a well-paid job and moved from the UK to Prague.. There began a whole new life as a webmaster! Last year, I moved from Prague to Brazil and started a new challenge. It's fun and often exciting, but it still does not stop you having the 'what if' thoughts. Keep busy and keep happy. Thanks for your great blog also!