Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Top commandments for men #2

Here is the second and final part of the 'commandments for men' - as swiped from GQ.

1.  The slower you move, the faster you die.
2.  Learn to trust your instincts. Only the dead go with the tide. Only the living go against it.
3.  Routine is good. Routine sets you free. Routine gives structure to the unholy messiness of your existence. Never develop a routine that you cant walk away with 5 minutes notice.
4.  Only fat people skip breakfast.
5.  At the end of the day, you should avoid cliches like the plague.
6. Be decent and kind to all people who can't do anything for you.
7. Drugs should be behind you by the time you are 25, unless your day job is playing guitar for the Rolling Stones (lead or rhythm, not bass).
8. The best cure for jet lag is sunshine. The best cure for a hangover is the Black Doctor (coca-cola regular, not diet). The best cure for diarrhea is live yogurt. The best cure for a broken heart is another trip to the moon.
9. If you do not have regular orgasms, you will die. When the coming stops, the breathing is never far behind.

10. Never trust a politician, prostitute or someone who wants you to change your mobile phone, energy plan or true love for absolutely no charge. There is always a charge.
11. Do not become a father until you are willing to put another human being before yourself.
12. Public speaking and practicing safe sex are two skills you need to master. You will be expected to do both, sometimes at the same event.
13. Self-pity is more destructive than heroin.
14. Do not waste your time on jealousy, hatred or watching Wall Street, Money Never Sleeps.
15. Enjoy every sandwich.


  1. #4 we can smile at. Breakfast doesn't have to be the biggest meal of the day (of course it SHOULDN'T be!) but it IS the most important.

    #8 - Hangover cure. Why is it that whenever I suggest what works best for me, the other person collapses in hilarity and looks at me in disbelief or unalloyed disdain? (I'm only trying to help.) But I would never imagine a mag like GQ to endorse - MILK!

  2. I don't generally read GQ but I really liked these countdowns...