Sunday, 17 January 2010

Headlines and news

As heard on The News Quiz on Radio 4 - real headlines and news clippings...

From the Peterborough Evening Telegraph:

MPs call for jobs blow to be reversed

Reuters via The Manchester Evenings News:

Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her knickers. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend.

The Times:*

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "this sort of thing is all too common".

Churchtown Parish Magazine:

Would the congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the church labelled 'for the sick' is for monetary donations only.

And in the Basingstoke & Deane borough magazine (and I found the actual publication online):

* For the benefit of American readers who are misled by the media, there is no such newspaper as "The London Times", it's simply called "The Times" and is 250 years old this year!


  1. Sometimes I just love the news!

    Last week a hacker kid got interviewed on my local radio. He was representing some guys claiming to have found a way to make all facebook visitors non-anonymous. According to the same guy, online anonymity was just crap, and only teens with pimples running around having criminal ideas were the ones concerned about online integrity.
    He didn't want to state his name to the reporter though, but we could always call him 'Max'... I had a good laugh at that one!!


  2. That was funny! Love the sausage in her pants. Gonna have to try that when Vinny goes away next.... lol.